STAYING ON TRACK WITH HEALTH AND WELLNESS IN A RELATIONSHIP
I know this won’t be popular but singledom has its benefits – yes I said it………
Singledom As a single woman, time and resources are yours to manage as you please. So you can be utterly selfish and dedicate a lot of time in accomplishing your health goals…however although statistics show that men are healthier in marriages or long-term relationships, the same cannot be said for women. Apparently, as we take care of others, we spend less time on ourselves. So, women have to be more purposeful about their time and health goals.
Relationshipdom Just for the record, I am currently in a wonderful relationship, a relationship that showers me with love, excitement and freedom. Every day is filled with an epiphany – large or small and I could not be happier. That said, weeks of date nights at restaurants, or skipping regular work outs to spend time meeting up was threatening to introduce me to the “Relationship 10” the second cousin of the “Freshman 15“.
I began to feel torn, knowing how much I love feeling fit and strong in my body whilst wanting to seize spontaneous moments to enjoy each other’s company connect. I decided to draw up a realistic plan to ensure that the positive development of a relationship does not negatively interfere with my health and wellness journey. I chose to focus on five main things:
1. Doing things alone – Exercise I am vastly more productive exercising on my own and although I love being active with friends, I really feel my most focused when I am alone in my thoughts. I enjoy keeping this part of my life deliberately separate and think it’s an intrinsic part of ensuring a healthy, happy me.
2. Doing things together – Eating. Food or more accurately smart food choices is something I have incorporated into my new relationship. Figuring out healthful food options while dining with ideas like meatless Mondays or trying new variations of the same vegetable (this month it’s Brussels Sprouts!!) can add some interest and variety to your local haunts or new hot spots.1
There are times when we are completely in sync with our nutrition and other days where his choice is prime rib and potatoes and mine, halibut and haricot verts – and that’s just fine –I’m careful to exercise autonomy on my own diet without imposing that on my partner. We are also trying new activities that deliberately don’t involve eating and drinking, allowing me to save my food splurges for comfort food prepared at home, where I have more control over how the food is prepared. Ultimately I am trying to finding the long-term win – win.
3. Doing things with others – Health and wellness connection/Creating accountability/Asking for help. It’s important to stay connected to friends and family and allow your new relationship to be additive of your time and energy. Communicating with friends, catching up and sharing tips is pivotal. Friends also serve to keep me accountable – there is nothing more emboldening than someone recounting a goal you shared and asking your progress. Friends can also provide an extra boost to combat complacency.
4. Doing absolutely nothing – Rest /Relaxation. This one seems a no-brainer but sleep and rest is essential. My ability to function without proper rest is waning. Conflicting schedules and wanting to spend quality time with someone can cause you to cut corners with sleep which is not sustainable. I catch up on the weekend and also take myself to the spa or for a massage once a month to aid deep, restful slumber….. being my best self to those I care about is all about staying energized and balanced.
5. Doing what I please. My favorite one!!!! I will always be an individual first ; ) and being in relationship is one of the laundry list of affiliations I could attach to myself. Not losing sight of all the unique things that make me who I am first, that contribute to the chemistry of the relationship, is key. Being comfortable to be who I am, sharing the unconventional and distinctive with someone else is an exciting ride. I look forward to the weeks and days ahead living openly and cultivating fully all the relationships in my life.
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