(My first angry post)
I am watching this movie, “I Don’t Know How She Does It” and it is annoying the hell out of me. It’s not an annoying movie per say, but Sarah Jessica Parker’s character is a working mother that has to juggle work life and home life and finds herself in many a pickle. She has a nanny, but feels guilty about not being able to do it all herself and be the perfect mum and wife and… you get the picture.
This is the speech I am giving myself , as I watch the movie…
What is this quest for perfection thing? Is this an American thing? Who has programmed all these women with this, “I can do it all, MYSELF, mentality”. And what is this guilt thing she’s wrapping herself around in? As a human being, all you can do is your best and leave the rest on the table, I mean what more can a woman do? Then again, I only have a 2 year old son who is fine not seeing me as long as he is fed and entertained. I don’t have a child that can wrap me up in guilt, yet. Even if I did, I don’t feel guilty about anything, maybe only when I do something with a little less integrity than I’d like.
The thing that really gets me is all this , I, I ,I. “I can do that, I can make it perfect, I can make it there on time, I promise I will make it work don’t worry…”. Everybody knows that the most successful people are the ones that can best leverage those around them. The best bosses are those that can get the best out of others. The bosses who understand the strengths of their employees, align them with the goals of the company and make the employees happy cause they are accomplishing something and helping to move the company forward, while being rewarded, of cause.
I thought about it, and if I had to take care of my child all by myself, I would have died. Coming home after a long day of working, making dinner, giving showers, putting kids to bed, keeping my husband happy, then waking up in the morning, earlier than everyone of course even though I went to bed last, working out so that I can keep my figure, and my husband, packing lunches, waking everyone up, giving the kids a shower, helping them get to school, going to work, then coming home and doing this whole things day after day… Whoever wrote this script that women are maddening themselves trying to follow ?!@#$
Kudos to those that do everything, but if I had to give my son all his showers, it will go from two showers a day to one. And the one will be when I take mine. I will plop him in with me, let him imitate everything I do. I’ll do a little work since he can’t possible do a good job at this age, but he will be practicing. By the time taking a shower with his mum is awkward, he will be old enough and able to give himself one. I’ll throw him in with his dad every once in a while, so he learns to wash his you know what.
The best mothers are the ones that can build community, fully leverage their spouses, families and the rest of the household, share pick up duties with other mums, help other parents become more successful by pulling resources together and leveraging people’s strengths. Getting other people in your life involved and getting help when you need it. Not this me, me ,me, I can do it all mentality. “It takes a village, people!”.
Ok, the movie may get better. Wait for it… ?!@#$
There she goes again making excuses, doing this “Oh, I’m a woman in a man’s world nonsense”. Who
bloody cares? She actually said “Don’t think of me as a woman”. Huh, what is wrong with being a woman now. Look I may not be in the world of finance, but I am in IT, which isn’t teeming with women. I may be naïve by saying this, but if you don’t care, then nobody cares. And for those that do, that reality is not in your world, so, it’s their problem. Everyone at work is different, everyone has their challenges, their lifestyle, their what not. People are of different races, different marital statuses, different number of kids, different heights, different levels of attractiveness. Different gender is just one more thing. Fingers are not equal, just focus on doing your own best.
Alright, alright, I’m done ranting.
At the end of the day, we can’t live life making excuses for who we are, we should focus on doing our best and letting go of the rest.
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