I had a moment and decided to chronicle how I felt at that time.

 

I have searched high and low. I have searched long and hard. Are you real? Are all the revelations to me about who you are true? Or is it all B!@#S?

 

Today, I don’t know where you are. In this moment, I feel loss, I feel like giving up. How hard do I have to look? You are everywhere, right? I know you are. I hear you in the music, in art, in the creativity so widely expressed through others.

 

You said “Ask and it shall be given onto you”, “Seek and ye shall find”. Well, I have asked and I have sought. I have done my best and where has that gotten me. OR do I just lack appreciation.

 

You said “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all other things shall be added unto you.” Where are the other things? I want the other things. I want to be rich, to be successful, but on your own terms, I guess.

 

How do I keep moving forward? Oh God, I’ve been pushing hard, but where have I really gone? Not much progress has been made. I have worked to changed my mind-set, tried to meditate, read books, sought council from others deemed closer to you.

 

How do you express through me? How do I let my light shine? What light is shining? I keep trying and keep failing. I keep climbing, but never reaching the peak of anything.

 

When is it my turn, huh…?

I am your vessel, I am waiting, I am available. When am I going to live my life of passion? When am I going to succeed at somethings? When am I going to reach the mountain top??

 

Let me explain!

We all have these moments, maybe not this expressed. These moments are a part of my wellness journey. So, I chose to share…