Lonely girl with suitcase at country road. Source: www.planbookenjoy.com
[I had promised to share this article long ago, finally doing it. From Sep 2015…]
So, I took 4 weeks off work. Why? Because I didn’t have the guts to quit. I wanted to try something new, see if I could carve out a new path for myself. I thought quitting will really light the fire under me, but couldn’t work my way up to that. So I chose to just take a long leave instead, hoping that in that time a new path would show up.
I told my husband I wanted to start investing in real estate and do some work on the blog. As the time got closer though, I told myself I will do whatever comes to me and use this time to really follow my instincts, make it more of a spiritual journey. I told others I wanted to quit going to a place that didn’t fulfill me but could only summon the courage to take 4 weeks off.
At worked, some asked where I was going for vacation, and I was honest and said “Nowhere”. I told them I wanted to just focus on some personal things.
I had this grand idea that I will get some type of epiphany, I will become clear on my destiny, my house will be clean, I’ll clear all the clutter and get to do all the little tasks I never made time for.
I had planned to dedicate time in my life clearing out all my spaces and dedicating each space to an area of my life. I dedicated my closet to my business and financial life (no real progress there… hmm maybe). I dedicated my bedroom to my marriage and dedicated this specifically tough spot on the carpet to an area in my marriage I felt especially wounded in. I was determined to clean up that spot. Boy, did the universe play a number on my marriage. At some point I was ready to end the whole thing, especially peeved in the area I dedicated that tough spot to. But eventually, I learnt a lot and grew from that turmoil (happy it happened). And the stain still remains, but now looks like a bleached, over-cleaned spot.
I dedicated my bathroom to my body. I did clean the bathroom, but it looks the same, I could not figure out even one organizational improvement. And as for my body, oh my body. I just need to love who I am right now. My body is actually in the same state as my bathroom, work on it, trying to get it to change, but cannot get things to budge one bit.
I cleared up a few other spaces in the house, the kids bedroom and play area. I dedicated those spaces to freedom, the future, growth and renewal. I do feel a sense of freedom, that no matter what, I will be ok. God is my source, not my job or my husband, so I will always be OK.
The 4 weeks helped me lean more on God and let him lead me more. There hasn’t been a great revelation and epiphany yet, but maybe that was never to come. Maybe I was just to learn a few simple lessons that will compound in my life to a brilliant future.
A few lessons:
- God is my source, I will be ok
- I have to listen better and be more perceiving of the needs of others
- I finally fasted successfully for 3 days
- I have a lot more of my ego to let go of
- God is love, and lovingly presents me with opportunities to grow
- I need to surround myself with voices that feed me and feed my soul daily
- Prayer is powerful
- Let life flow through me and let me learn the lessons I need to learn
At the end, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with work. I had been in a bad place earlier. I decided to go back to see how I felt. I was actually happy to be there. I now had a sense of freedom at work that is hard to describe. I had lessened the grip making money had on me a little and cared more about trusting my instincts and being true to myself.
This time, it wasn’t really the job that needed to change, it was me!
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